List of First Ladies Who Posed Nude

Apparently Melania Trump said that she came the the US in 1996, but a nude photo shoot from 1995 proves that she was working in the US a year earlier. As does a biography by Slovenian journalists.

Naked photos of Trump’s wife conveniently fell into the hands of someone at New York Post during a rocky week for the Trump campaign. Not only is the timing odd, but the New York Post is a publication that endorses Trump. Coincidence? Not likely.

Luckily, rather than simple ogle the photos of girl-on-girl nudity. A few journalists questioned them, both the timing of the release of the photos, and the timing of when they were taken.

There are so many problems with this whole news story. Like the fact that I’m even writing about it. Is this really where we are as a nation? How did we get here? Why did Trump hand out naked photos of his wife to try and make Americans like him more? That is so insulting, not just to his wife, but it’s insulting to everyone’s intelligence. The question is no longer just “What is wrong with him?” But also “What is wrong with us?”

So since it is the title of the article, here is my list of former first ladies who posed nude. NONE! None of them! What is wrong with people? A first lady should never be nude in front of a camera because she is a lady… first!

Since Melania claims she speaks five languages, just like she said claimed that she graduated from college (she didn’t), I’ll break it down in all terms she understands: NONE! AUCUN! KEINER! And this one that my keyboard can’t even handle:

Ниједан

Sure, Nellie Taft was an unconventional first lady. She was a fan of smoking, drinking and watching sex plays, but even she had sense enough not to get on the front page of newspapers with her knickers off! She even served alcohol in the White House while people discussed prohibition! She was racy, but stayed dressed!!!

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Edith Roosevelt had clothes that buttoned up to her chin!

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Betty Ford didn’t even provide Americans any good nudie pics. Our legendary boozy first lady was able to keep her clothes on for cameras! She was famous for being drunk, but know what else she was famous for? Turtlenecks!

First Lady Ida McKinley looks just like Jared Leto, so please no one tell me if her naked photos exist. I can’t unsee that.

Eleanor Roosevelt. I can’t even really go there. If anyone digs up a time capsule out of the White House rose garden that unearths any naked photos of her, do not share that shit.

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Dolley Madison was known for her plunging necklines, but had sense to keep the rest of herself covered.

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I really don’t mind Melania posing nude as much as her verbatim plagiarizing Michelle Obama’s speech and lying about graduating from college.  And her ironic hardline stance on immigration is like making fun of the people standing in line at a night club after you’ve already gotten in. She clearly worked in the US for at least a year illegally, which is bad news for a campaign whose only consistent message is hating on illegal immigrants.

Lastly, Republican leaning reporters like to cite that Louisa Adams was a first lady who wasn’t born in the US. She was born in London and married the sixth president, John Quincy Adams, son of President John Adams. JQ Adams had a long history of serving his country.  He served as a diplomat, a Senator, a member of the House of Representatives and was Secretary of State. He was known as an “exemplar and moral leader” who promoted education, effective communication and was pro-minority. My point is, we’re not exactly comparing apples to apples here with the Adams and the Trumps.

I’m sure the next stage of The Trump campaign’s shock and awe distraction techniques is to go DEFCON level 1 and release a Trump sex tape. And I’ll look at Eleanor Roosevelt’s time capsule nudie pics before I watch that.

 

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