The South Will Chastise Again

So, as it turns out, the term “you guys” is offensive to people who are either not guys, or were guys but aren’t any more. Or people who don’t want you to know their gender, because they are not defined by it. Y’all didn’t see that coming, did y’all? We did. That’s why y’all are going to have to start saying y’all before y’all get slapped with a Sensitivity Training class at work.

And that sweet tea that we drink every day? Tea is actually loaded with antioxidants that ward off cancer. I’ll be darn tootin’. And okra that Southerners eat all the time? It’s low in calories, but packed with vitamins and minerals. Good lawd, it’s good.

And really the best? Trump has shown that all the racist, bigots and xenophobes aren’t located in the south. Not at all. They’re scattered all over the country. I guess scattered isn’t an appropriate word, since that makes them sound like they are few. The are in great heaping globs all over the country. The uneducated (and proud of it!) are everywhere. I hate to gloat, but I had to laugh when I read and heard people say, “I though just Southerners would vote for him.” Naw, y’all gonna have to deal with him if he gets elected, it’s on you (the whole US).

I know I won’t have the last laugh because in about two months it will be 115 degrees I’ll be trying to ward off mosquitos the size of falcons, but for now, I can sit on my front porch, drink sweet tea and smile because I have access to okra year round.

Probably the most earth shattering change in notions about the south – Southerners are getting smarter! Say whaaaaaat? According to Forbes, the South ranks with Cities Getting the Smartest the Fastest. To be fair, we had nowhere to go but up in this category, but hey, still bragging rights. Sure, we’re not becoming smarter because the schools are getting better, but rather because more educated people are moving to the south. I’ll still take it as a win.  I guess there’s something to be said about being the smart fish in a dumb pond.

And stop making fun of Southern women’s big hair. You try living in a place with 100% humidity year round.

As I re-read this blog I realize it’s kind of like watching a boxer being interviewed after winning a fight. He’s talking smack about his opponent and bragging about winning… but he’s also got drool dripping from his swollen bottom lip, cuts all over his face and two black eyes. But he still won.


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